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英语口语小笑话

一分钟英语小笑话
一分钟英语小笑话
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一分钟英语小笑话

Mark is a good boy,but he is not very clean.His face and hands always very dirty.
One day,Mark goes to school.His teacher looks at him and says:"Mark,I know what you eat today.""What?"Mark asks. "Eggs.your face and your mouth tell me that."
"No."Mark says,"not today,but the day before yesterday."
可是手打的咧~~看我多好。其实很简单的哦!哈哈,英语天才在此,不用犯愁咯!
翻译:马克是个好男孩,但他不是很干净。他的手和脸总是很脏。
一天,马克去学校。他的老师看着他,说:“我知道你今天早上吃了什么。”“什么?”马克问道。“鸡蛋。你的脸和嘴告诉了我。”“不,”马克说,“不是今天,是前天。”

英语小笑话很短的
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英语小笑话很短的

  笑话是民族文化及社会生活中不可缺少的一环,从古至今都拥有广大的受众,深受人们喜爱。我整理了很短的英语小笑话,欢迎阅读!   很短的英语小笑话篇一   He Won   Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.   Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?   Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.   他赢了   汤姆:约翰尼,你小弟弟好吗?   约翰尼:他害病卧床了。他受了伤。   汤姆:真糟糕,怎么回事儿?   约翰尼:我们做游戏,看谁能把身子探出窗外最远,他赢了。   很短的英语小笑话篇二   Jim’s History Examination   Uncle: How did Jim do in his history examination?   Mother: Oh, not at all well, but there, it wasn't his fault. They asked him   things that happened before the poor boy was born.   吉姆的历史考试   舅舅:吉姆这孩子历史考得怎么样?   母亲:唉,糟透了。可话又说回来,这也不能怪他。嗨,他们尽问一些这个可怜的孩子出生前的事儿。   很短的英语小笑话篇三   The Fish Net   "Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?"   "A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl.   鱼网   "你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗,安?" 老师发问道。   "把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。" 小女孩回答道。   很短的英语小笑话篇四   Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?   Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go Slow".   老师:汤姆,您为什么每天上学迟到?   汤姆:我每次路过拐角,一个路标上面写着:"学校----慢行。"

非常短的英语小笑话
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非常短的英语小笑话

非常短的英语小笑话   当听别人说笑话的时候觉得不大好笑,还会觉得冷很冷,可是自己看的时候,却笑到不行,你有这样的经历么?以下的非常短的英语小笑话,希望能让你欢乐笑不停。   非常短的英语小笑话(一)   纹身   A few months after Tom and I were married一during World War II, he was shipped off to Pearl Harbor. In one of his first letters,he wrote,"I'm going to have a Navy battle-ship tattooed on my chest.”   二战中,汤姆和我刚结婚几个月,他就被派到珍珠港。在他早期的一封信中,他写道:“我想把海军战舰纹刻在胸前。”   Instead of pleading, I answered simply,“Send me a pitcture of your tattoo,and I'll have a duplicate put on my chest. "   我没有劝阻,只是简单地回了信:“给我寄一张你纹旁的照片来,然后我也在我的'胸前仿纹一个。”   We have been married for 51 years. Neither of us has a tattoo.   我们现在已结婚51年了,谁也没纹过身。   非常短的英语小笑话(二)   关心   A customer at my teller's window was grumbling about the low interest rate on his savings account. He finally said he was just going to take all his money out of the bank,dig a hole in his back yard and bury it.   一位顾客站在我的出纳窗口前,埋怨存钱的利率太低。最后,他说他妥把所有的钱从银行里取出来,在自家后院挖个坑,把钱理了。   The teller next to rne leaned over. "Sir,I couldn't help overhearing. Tell me, what is your address?".   隔壁窗口的出纳员探过身来说:“先生,我实在不怒愉听,但还是听到了,告诉我,您住在什么地才?”   非常短的英语小笑话(三)   过分紧张   My little girl loves animals,but one day she was bitten by a small field mouse she'd found. She carried it home in her pocket and told me what happened. Worried about rabies,I called our town humane society and was told that the animal would have to be examined, and they'd send someone for it.   我的小女儿喜欢动物。但有一天,她被一只她找到的小田鼠咬了一口。她把那小动物放在口袋里带了回来,并把所发生的一切都告诉了我。由于害怕她被传染上鼠痊,我给镇上的私区医院打了电话。他们告诉我这个小动物应被检查一下,还说他们会派人去把它取走。   When the humane-society truck pulled up,a big man got out,put on a pair of gauntlets and took a capture stick and a big cage from the back of the truck. Trying not to laugh, I handed him a small shoe box containing the mouse.   社区医院的卡车停在了我家门口,一个大个子下了车,他戴上了防护手套,从车的后箱里取出一根棍子和一个笼子。我   尽量克制自己不笑出来,把那装有小田鼠的杜盒子递给了他。   "Lady,"he said,seeing my expression, "they only told me it was a wild animal. "   “太太,”当他看到我的表情时他说,“他们只告诉我说是好生动物。”   非常短的英语小笑话(四)   异奇!   My first waitressing job was in a coffee shop. We featured a lunch special called "Tuna Salad Surprise",a tuna sandwich served with soup and chips. When our sandwich maker didn't show up for work one hectic Saturday,we had to prepare our own sandwiches.   我做招待工作始于咖啡店。我们有道午餐特餐叫“金枪鱼沙拉异奇”。这个套餐实际上就是把金枪鱼三明治、汤、薯条技在一起吃.一个例霉竹星期六,我们那做特餐三明治的   厨师没来上班,我们只好自己准备三明治。   A man sat down and ordered the special. I raced to the sandwich board,prepared the order,poured his coffee and rushed to the next customer. Later,as I delivered his check,he noted politely that he had never. eaten a potato-salad sandwich before. Horrified at my mistake,I asked,”Why didn't you tell me it was potato salad instead of tuna?"   一位男食客坐下来,要了这道特餐。我跑到了三明治拒台,替他准备好了套餐,又给他倒了一杯咖啡,就开始招待下一位食容。不久,我把帐单递给了要特餐的食客.他很礼   貌地说,他从没吃过土豆沙拉三明治。这时我才意识到我把三明治弄错了,我真有点害怕了。我问他:“你为什么不早告诉我特餐是土豆沙拉而不是金枪鱼沙拉呢?”   "I thought that was the surprise.”   “我还以为那就是所谓的异奇呢. ;

英语的笑话
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英语的笑话

有关英语的笑话大全   你知道学些笑话的好处么?当第一次见面的时候,总是有不知道该说什么的尴尬,这时候你就需要一些笑话,来缓解一下气氛呢,这里我为你收集整理了有关英语的笑话大全,希望能对你有所帮助哈!   有关英语的笑话一:   A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party. She got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need for his good time to be spoiled by not going. So he took his costume and away he went. The wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour, awakened without pain; and, as it was still early, decided to go to the party after all. In as much as her husband didn't know what costume she'd be wearing, she thought she'd have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she wasn't around.   She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every chick he could, getting a little kiss here and a warm squeeze there. His wife went up to him and being rather seductive herself, he left his current partner high and dry and devoted his time to this new babe who had just arrived.   She let him do whatever he wished, naturally, since he was her husband. Finally he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and they did it all! Zowie! Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away and went home, put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would have for his behavior.   She was sitting up reading when he came in. She asked how the evening had been? He said "Oh, the same old thing. You know, I never have a good time when you're not there." Then she asked, "Did you dance much?"   He replied, "You know, I didn't dance even one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the den and played poker all evening.   But I'll tell you...from what I heard, the guy I loaned my costume to, sure had a real good time!"   妻子睡了一小会儿后觉得自己好多了。而时间尚早,她也换了装去到舞会。她想到自己的丈夫并不知道自己换了什么装扮,于是打算偷偷观察一下丈夫在自己不在身边时的表现。   到了舞会,妻子看到丈夫在舞池中和不同的姑娘热舞。她跟着也加入其中,她的丈夫也和她跳起舞来。跟着他们离开舞池,再跟着%*#@!#%¥(少儿不宜,省略数百字),而在期间,他们两人都没有摘下面具。   之后妻子就先回家了。她坐下来读书、有点幸灾乐祸地等丈夫回来,看他要如何解释。   跟着她的丈夫也回来了。她问:“今晚过的怎么样啊?”   丈夫答道:“啊~ 还是老一套,你知道的,你不在我怎么会开心呢?”   妻子又问:“你是不是跳了很多舞啊?”   他答:“我一支曲子都没跳,我到了那儿就遇到彼得、布朗和其他几个兄弟,接着我们就去休息室打扑克打了一晚上。不过我听说……借走我面具和服装的那个家伙今天晚上倒玩得挺开心的!”   有关英语的笑话二:两个士兵   Two Soldiers   Two soldiers were in camp. The first one‘s name was George, and the second one‘s name was Bill. George said, "have you got a piece of paper and an envelope, Bill?"   Bill said, "Yes, I have," and he gave them to him.   Then George said, "Now I haven‘t got a pen." Bill gave him his, and George wrote his letter. Then he put it in the envelope and said, "have you got a stamp, Bill?" Bill gave him one.   Then Bill got up and went to the door, so George said to him, "Are you going out?"   Bill Said, "Yes, I am," and he opened the door.   George said, "Please put my letter in the box in the office, and..." He stopped.   "What do you want now?" Bill said to him.   George looked at the envelope of his letter and answered, "What‘s your girl-friend‘s address?"   两个士兵   军营里有二名士兵,一个叫乔治,一个叫比尔。乔治问:“比尔,你有信纸、信封吗?”   比尔说:“有。”然后把信纸和信封给了乔治。   乔治又说:“我还没有笔呢。”比尔又把自己的.笔给了他。乔治开始写信。写完后把信放进信封里,又问:“比尔,你有邮票吗?”比尔给了他一张。   这时比尔站起来,向门口走去。乔治问:“你要出去吗?”   比尔说:“是的。”随即打开了门。   乔治说:“请帮我把这封信投进办公室的信箱里,还有...”他停住了。   “你还要什么?”比尔问。   乔治看着信封说:“你女朋友的地址是-?”   有关英语的笑话三:为什么鼻青脸肿Black eyes   A man came to work on Monday morning with two black eyes. His boss asked what happened.   The man replied, “On Sunday, I was sitting behind a big woman at church. When we stood up to sing hymns, I noticed that her dress was caught in her butt crack, so I was trying to be nice and I pulled it out for her. Then, she turned around and punched me in the eye.”   The boss asked, “Okay, so where did you get the other shiner?”   “Well,” the man said, “I figured she didn’t want it out, so I pushed it back in.”   有关英语的笑话四:How did you start the flood? 你是怎么引起洪水的?   A doctor vacationing on the Riviera met a lawyer friend and asked him what he was doing there.   医生在里维埃拉度假时遇到他的一位律师朋友,医生问他怎么会到这里来。   The lawyer replied, " I'm here because my house burned down, and the insurance company paid for everything. What are you doing here?"   律师回答:“我到这里是因为我的房子被火烧了,保险公司赔偿了我所有的损失。”   "That's quite a coincidence," said the doctor "I'm here because my house were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything."   “真巧,”医生说,“我是因为房子被洪水冲垮了,保险公司也赔偿了我所有的损失。”   The lawyer looked puzzled. "Gee," he asked, "how did you start the flood?"   律师看起来有些困惑,他问“哎呀!你是怎么引起洪水的?” ;

英语的笑话
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英语的笑话

关于英语的笑话集锦   导语:爱笑的人运气总不会太差,,这里我收集整理了一些英语笑话,说不定能点中你的笑穴哦。   1.Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day? Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go Slow".   2.One day a college professor of Psychology was greeting his new college class. He stood up in front of the class and said, "Would everyone who thinks he or she is stupid please stand up?" After a minute or so of silence, a young man stood up. "Well, good morning. So, you actually think you're a moron?" the professor asked. The kid replied, "No sir, I just didn't want to see you standing there all by yourself."   3. One day in class, the teacher assigned his students to write a composition——If I am a manager.   All the students began to write except a boy. The teacher went to him and asked the reason.   “I am waiting for my secretary,” was the boy’s answer.   4. Doctor: Your cough sounds much better today.   Patient: It should. I've been practicing all night.   5.Looking very unhappy, a poor man entered a doctor's consulting-room.   "Doctor," he said, "you must help me. I swallowed a penny about a month ago."   "Good heavens, man!" said the doctor. "Why have you waited so long? Why don't you come to me on the day you swallowed it?"   "To tell you the truth, Doctor," the poor man replied, "I didn't need the money so badly then."   6.one day, a father and his little son were going home. at this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. now, he asked, "what's the meaning of the word 'drunk', dad?" "well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. if i regard the two policemen as four then i am drunk."   "but, dad," the boy said, " there's only one policeman!"    翻译   1.老师:汤姆,您为什么每天上学迟到?汤姆:我每次路过拐角,一个路标上面写着:"学校----慢行。"   2.一天,一位大学心理学教授向他的新生们问候。他站在学生们的面前说:“如果哪位同学认为自己傻,就请站起来。” 大约过了一分钟,一位年轻人站了起来。教授说:“嗨,你好。你真的认为自己是个低能儿么?” 这个孩子回答道:“不是的,先生,我只是不忍心看着只有你自己站在这里。”   3.一天课上,老师要同学们以“如果我是一个经理”为题写一篇作文。   所有的'学生都在动笔写了,只有一个男生例外。老师走过去问他为什么不写。   “我在等我的秘书”。那孩子答道。   4.医生:听上去你咳嗽今天好多了。   病人:应该如此。我昨晚练习了一整夜   5.一个看起来很难受的穷人走进大夫的诊室。   "大夫!"他说,"帮帮我!一个月前我吞了一分硬币!"   "天哪,"大夫说,"早干嘛去了?你当时怎么不来看?"   "实话告诉您吧,大夫,"穷人说,"我当时还不缺钱!"   6.一天,父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄,老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道:“爸爸,‘醉’字是什么意思?” “唔,孩子,”父亲回答说,“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个,那么我就算醉了。”   “可是,爸爸, ”孩子说,“那儿只有一个警察呀!” ;